This year has thrown a wrench in my perfect “how it ought to be” plan. I had found myself carrying burdens that weren’t mine to hold. Saddened by events I had no control over and overwhelmed by those that I did. I took a look in the mirror and seemed to have lost myself behind the business that had ensued.
I had to take a step back, breath, and start digging for my roots. The “this really matters” stuff. Not an easy task for someone who looks at the smallest things as the important details. Because frankly, even when everything has an importance there are still things that will outrank in priority. Boy, was that a hard pill to swallow. I may have had a laugh or two at my own expense when prayers like “Lord, if you could just put more hours in the day I could do it all” came up in conversation with my Father. (Go ahead, laugh its ok. I can’t hear you. ;)
So what was the answer? My cure all? My fix all solution?
I don’t know.
BUT….(and it’s a big one) I am ok with it.
I have taken a step back, a break of sorts and through it God has shown me one thing over and over again. He. Loves. Me.
It became my theme. Over and over again I would SOAP and end up in tears over how much God loves me. (and you too by the way ;)
Tonight was the same thing. Moved to tears by the immense love God has for us. Love that does NOT fail. Can NOT fail. Will NOT fail.
I didn’t get it. I mean I understood to the best of my human ability that God’s unmeasurable love was far more than I could know to dream but I have been praying and praying about what I should do? How best to balance my time outside of work? How to not hurt when I think of the casualties of spiritual warfare and the heartache that comes with it?
Why on earth does God just keep telling me He loves me?!
What I knew with my head wasn’t registering with my heart. His Love is His answer to my prayers. The one He saw I needed. He is my root. He is my foundation and He will NEVER fail me. His love carries me even when I am too caught up in my own world to realize it.
His love tells me that even when the world seems crazy and all seems like chaos, I am grounded.
His love tells me that while I simply cannot please everyone, when He thinks of me He smiles.
His love tells me that I don’t need a lot of stuff to clutter my time, just quality things that point me towards the target.
As cliché as it may sound his love has been the anchor to my foundation in Him. I had floated far enough away to let my priorities become unclear. By following the reminders of his love I was able to pull past the clutter and chaos and realize that the closer I am to my Father the more clear my priorities become.
Do I have all my answers? No, but I have the peace that comes with knowing His love is enough. More than I knew to pray for.
What does God's love tell you?