There are times, like tonight when I wonder if I am more broken then I can see. A brokenness others look at me and shy from that I am oblivious to. Am I so lost that when I think I have found myself others disagree? When I look in the mirror and see all the great things that God has graciously given me through my pain and I blind to some of myself that is still missing? If others are missing those parts of me, why can I not even see them anymore? Do I still look so broken and lost that I can not be a good friend, daughter, sister etc?
I feel new. I feel refreshed. I feel like a better version of me. I am still a work in progress and still have much to learn from this experience and many more to come. I welcome all God has to give me weather its good or bad in my eyes because I know it is all for the best. Yet, I feel like many of my relationships with others have changed because of something I can't see. Many... have changed since my dear son died. People still look at me like something is missing, why can't I see what it is?
If I am not missing it, I can't help but wonder if it is a part of myself I would even want back.