Thursday, January 20, 2011

What do you say when...

So tonight as Addy and I were cuddling on the couch she was playing her "squish the baby" game. (where she gives her little sister a great  big hug) Then out of no where, as is normally the case, she tells me "Mommy I don't want my baby sister to die. I want her to come live with us forever and ever"
What am I supposed to say to that? I can't exactly promise her that her little sister will be safe and in our arms knowing full well that it is not in my hands. I wouldn't even begin to predict what God has in store for us.  I of course have faith that this time I will have a beautiful baby to bring home but I am mentally prepared for anything...well as much as I can be. How can you mentally prepare an almost 4 year old to expect anything. Especially one who has experienced so much death in her short little life already.
What did I say? Well, I told her that I wanted to bring little (insert name here) home too and that hopefully that is part of God's plan for our family but we will have to wait and see. (ughh, I hate telling her to wait and see...because I hate hearing it!)
So it wasn't perfect and I know it. I just have no idea what to say to that. She is so excited for this new little one. Even more so I think then her brother. I just pray that that kind of trial is over for her at least. She is so young for how much death she has dealt with. I just pray that she has been processing alright. It is not taboo to talk about any of the deaths we have had in our family, in our household. We have always talked about it as much as she wanted to, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Which is why, I am sure, she thinks it ok to tell random people ;)
Lord, guide me to guide her.

*pic by Small Bird Studio


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